No jokes. No annoying self-referential openings. Just the truth.
It’s been a week now since my Underworks binder arrived, and I haven’t had a better week. Most of it was spent in anticipation of this very day, dreading the concept of continuing on the way that life was continuing on, and yet something strange happened. Nothing. Nothing bad, at least.
This tuesday, I decided to wear it to school just to see if I could bear it. School is short enough that I can wear it through, take it off when I go home, and put it on again if I really need to. I was shocked to find that I didn’t need the extra sports bras I had packed just in case. I didn’t need anything, because this thing carried me through it.
Since then, I’ve gotten rather adept at putting it on and slightly less so at taking it off. I’m a rather hippy person, so you can imagine that it would pose a difficulty. I’ve found that turning it inside out and then stepping into it is the best way possible, as then nothing needs to pass your shoulders and nothing really needs to pass your hips apart from the very wide collar area.
Apart from that, the only important thing that I’ve learned is that this thing does some serious assistance. I’ve been told multiple times since I started to wear it to school that I’ve been mistaken for a boy (particularly one of my very good friends saying “At first I looked up and saw a hot guy, and then I realized it was just J****!” multiple times.). I think people can tell at this point that it’s purposeful. I need to tell them… honestly, my friends are such good people, they deserve to know.
Going forward, I think being out is a good decision. I want to be out to the people I know, if only because this is all working so well. My mental health is improving so much, and the only things I’ve had any anxiety over are minor and separate from my dysphoria. I haven’t had to see my therapist in months, and that last time was when I was discussing this exact thing- moving on, coming out, being open. Life is improving exponentially, and I don’t see it turning around.
This was so unexpected. I didn’t realize this change would happen. I’m so happy that it is. Every moment I’m grateful for my life, my friends, the people who support me, the amazing open country that seems to be specifically focused on promoting my wellbeing. Everything’s coming up roses. Everything.