I thought of something to write about.
I’m the kind of guy who, when described in gender neutral terms as accurately as possible, you’d assume was a girl. What the hell is masculine about me? My clothes. My appearance, sometimes. If you’re counting stereotypes, my attitude on sexuality is pretty masculine occasionally. I’m not assertive, I’m not proud, I’m not physically strong, I’m not any of that shit. I’m the kind of guy who’s a viewpoint character in a YA novel crafted so that the nerdy guys have someone to relate to and girls in the audience aren’t threatened. But less emotionally stable and quirky.
In short, I’m not masculine.
Now, let’s see about femininity! I like jewelry. Not pearl necklaces or some shit, but I love simpler necklaces and earrings make me squeal like a twelve year old girl meeting her favourite boy band. My favourite colour is obnoxiously sparkly silver. I enjoy applying face paint, and occasionally (don’t tell the real life people!) I even wear some very basic makeup out of the house. Occasional cosplay is as far as my taste in female clothing goes, but I do enjoy shopping quite a bit, and I experience the same kind of wonder women get imagining their wedding dress when I dream of a really nice goddamn vest. On top of this, I used to paint my nails enough for my parents to get concerned about the fumes.
In short, I guess I must be pretty feminine.
I know what you’re thinking (again). Well, you’re thinking one of two things. First, you could be thinking, “But Jasper! I thought you were a badass manly man! This flies in the face of everything I knew about you!” Well, dear reader, I suggest that you get a better pair of eyeglasses and a better mentality because I’m not all that masculine and I’m not all that ashamed. Second, you could be thinking, “But Jasper! You don’t need to be embarrassed by the (many) feminine parts of your personality! You can be as feminine as you want and as long as you’re honest about who you are you’re a man through and through!” I commend you, dear reader. You just made my point for me.
I used to be scared to wear accessories or anything that showed off my curves. T-shirts used to be the bane of my existence. You would never catch me fucking giggle. But that was me before. The more assured in myself I am, the more I understand who I am and others understand who I am, the more I feel comfortable in my femininity. It’s like as soon as I hit that low I did anything I could to erase any clue that I might be female. Anything about myself that would cause someone to say “You aren’t really who you say you are” made me cringe. But it’s different now. I’m comfortable in my own skin, I’m comfortable with the person people think I am, because the person who they know is finally the real me. Masculine or not, this is who I am, and I’m going to be true to that Jasper. He deserves it.
tl;dr, Jasper loves glitter and you better not have a fucking problem with that.